Subject: Tennessee Win 98 

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the 
Tennessee edition of windows 98 may have accidentally 
been shipped outside Tennessee.

If you have one of the Tennessee editions you may need 
some help understanding the commands. The Tennessee edition 
may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. 
It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of the 
General Lee super imposed on a Confederate flag.  It is
shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.

Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer is 
called This Infernal Contraption, Dialup Networking is called 
Good Ol' Boys, Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard,  
Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive,
and floppies are them little ole plactic disc thangs.

Other features:

1. Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a 
garbage bag and duct tape.

2. OK = ats aww-right

3. cancel = hell no

4. reset = awa shoot

yes = shore

no = Naaaaw

find = hunt-fer it

go to = over yonder

back = back yonder

help = hep me out here

stop = ternit off

start = crank it up

settings = sittins

programs = stuff at does stuff

documents = stuff I done done

Also note that winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or 
punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to winders 98:
tiperider..........A word processor

colerin book......a graphics program

addin mershene...calculator

outhouse paper ...notepad

jupe-box ..........CD Player

iner-net...........Microsoft Explorer

pichers............A graphics viewer

IRS................M/S accounting software

IRS2...............M/S accounting software with hidden files

coon dog............American kennel club records

fishin...............Bass Anglers Sportsman Society records.

NRA................National  Rifle Association

shot gun ...........Remington Arms price list

riffel...............Winchester price list

pisstel..............Smith & Wesson price list

truck...............Ford & Chevrolet dealers in Tennessee by zip code

house...............Nearest Mobile home repair service by zip code

car..................same as truck just need two lists in Tennessee

cuzzins..............family history usually a 3 meg file

records..............usually an empty file

shells................ammunition inventory another 3 meg file

bud....................list of Budweiser dealers by zip code

rasin.................NASCAR racing schedule includes list of TV
			 stations that carry the race

car n truck parts...nearest Junk yard by zip code

doc....................veterinarians by zip code

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a 
copy of the Tennessee edition.  You may return it to Microsoft for 
a replacement version.