Favorite T-shirt slogans 

2) I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 

3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me! 

4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 

5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 

6) Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out alive. 

7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. 

8) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 

9) Earth.... is the insane asylum for the universe. 

10) I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing. 

12) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 

14) I want to die in my sleep, like my grandfather... not screaming and 
yelling like the passengers in his car. 

15) God must love stupid people; He made so many of them. 

16) The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 

17) It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you. 

18) I took an IQ test and the results were negative. 

19) Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. 

20) Ever stop to think and forget to start again? 

21) Beer ~ The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon! 

23) "That's It! I'm Calling Nana!" (seen on a 1 year old) 

24) "Wrinkled.... Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up"

25) "Procrastinate..... Now" 

26) "Rehab..... Is for Quitters" 

27) "My Dog.... Can Lick Anyone" 

28) "I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?" 

29) "Party - My Crib - Two A.M." (On a baby-size shirt) 

30) "Finally 21, and Legally Able to do Everything I've been doing 
since I was 15" 

31) "Arkansas: One Million People and 15 last names" 

32) "FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software." 

34) "A hangover is the wrath of grapes" 

35) "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance" 

36) "STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!" 

37) "DISCOURAGE INBREEDING - Ban Country Music" 

39) "He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead" 

40) "Time is fun when you're having flies"...Kermit the Frog 

42) "FOR SALE - Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once." 

43) "HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH" 

44) "HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment 
for a pig." 

45) "WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20 years." 

46) "The trouble with life is there's no background music." 

47) "The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson." 

48) "MOP AND GLOW - The Floor Wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup 
team." 

49) "NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room 
spinning-medicine." 

50) "My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought 
he was God and I didn't!"