A Dr. Seuss Purim Shpiel by Dana Baruch and Robbi Sherwin www.RobbiSherwin.com and www.sababamusic.com © 1998 all rights reserved Sh’ma yeladim and hear us well For now is the story of Purim to tell. It took place in Shushan so long, long ago. Now off to Persia we all will go. In this beautiful kingdom ruled a king A king with no brain, who’d think such a thing? He spent all his days and his nights having fun Parading his wealth in the warm Persian sun. A queen named Vashti was his loyal wife She promised to love him all of her life. She promised, that is, until he did ask For her to perform an unthinkable task. At his grandest of parties the king did command Queen Vashti dance for royal men of the land. “I am Not your servant, and dance I will Not!” Vashti refused the king’s sexist plot. For Vashti, you see, was not known as a fibber She was, in fact, history’s first women’s libber. Vashti was banished - away she did go. Where did she go? That we do not know. In this fair kingdom lived also the Jews Who could not practice the religion they choosed No Torah, no Challah, no Matzah Ball soup For a villain named Haman had started a coup. “Bow down to me now”, cruel Haman did say “For I am an important man of the day.” “I’m the King’s right-hand man - I rule all that I see If you don’t bow down now, you will cease to be!!!” Meanwhile back at the palace grand An announcement went out throughout the land A new queen to be chosen in an unusual way In a beauty contest held the very next day. All the maidens of the land were forced to appear From near and from far, from far and from near One such maiden had brains and had grace Esther was her name…Such a pretty face! Encouraged by her Uncle (or was it cousin?) Mordechai “I beg you dear Esther, this you MUST try” “With your brains and your beauty YOU he would choose “Go, go, go, go! “Comb your hair. Wear nice shoes!” “Besides that my dear, with your grace and your charm You will blow them away. You’ll be on King Achashverosh’s arm!” Unsure of herself but willing to go Because she loved her Uncle so She entered the contest But said, “Uncle dear Promise me that you’ll always stay near.” The contest was held - They came one and all And Esther of course was the Queen of the ball. Though Achashverosh chose her and she was now queen There was one rotten rule she had not foreseen. Under penalty of death she had to obey The following rule in an unbending way: Her new husband commanded she could only see him When HE chose to see her and on HIS whim So now back to Haman, that cruel crusty fellow At the top of his lungs he continued to bellow: “Bow down, bow down NOW I command! Or great harm will come to you in this land.” Mordechai, of course, refused to obey “I bow only to G-D to my last dying day!” Haman’s face turned red with anger and hate “I’ll get you my pretty If it’s the last breath I take!!” (Cackle cackle cackle) Mordechai turned his back, and others did follow As for Haman, well, his pride he had to swallow “That Jew, Mordechai has ruined my heinous plot Because of this affront I will have to draw lots The straw that I pick, the one that comes nigh Is the day that the Jews of Persia shall die!” Into his three-cornered hat - he did cast All of the dates - the future, the past The lot that he picked was the 13th of Adar “Make ready the gallows! Adar is not far.” Right after Haman he did pester Went Mordechai to see Queen Esther. At the palace gate, two guards he did broach Plotting to kill King Achashverosh. Brave Mordy protected his king and his land By revealing the plot in the palace grand His loyalty and his brains gave him the upper hand. The king in his chamber that evening did read Of Mordechai’s loyalty in the Book of Good Deeds With the smallest of brains, the king thinked and he thinked “Who is this Mordechai who saved me from the brink? Who, who, who is this man who foiled the guards’ plan? I must reward him - send for Haman!” A question to Haman Achashverosh did pose: “How should I honor a man who has been on his toes Who has saved my kingdom through heroic deeds Without a single thought to his own needs?” Haman, thinking this hero was he For saving the kingdom from the Jews for the king Pompously swelled with excitement and greed He knew the king would his words heed: “I think my dear king no reward is too great Give him diamonds and jewels—a house by the lake” “Fabulous clothing and all of the best Let him ride the king’s horse on your next birthday fest!” “Make it so, dear Haman, loyal right hand man Bring forth Mordechai the Jew…this is my command!” “Instruct all my tailors, my jewelers my builders To spare no sheckles, no rubles, or guilders Call all the king’s horses and all the king’s men To honor this Jew again and again! Haman astounded, speechless at best Felt his anger spread from his feet to his chest Could it be that this man who refused to bow down Must now be honored all through the town? Seizing the moment, the opportunity here, Modechai to Esther did appear Using his wits and Oh, so clever brain Mordy made history, now Esther has fame. “You must risk your life and go to the king And tell him about this heinous thing That Haman is planning the Jews will all die You must go brave Esther…this you MUST try. “But cousin (or Uncle),” she said - trembling with fear “Without his permission, I cannot go near It could be my life - I am so afraid.” But Morty replied: “You can do this, BABE.” “Use your brains and your charm and your prettiest skirt And your shaina punim…What could that hurt!” So, Esther swallowed her fear, And she calmed her nerves She went after this task With Vim and with Verve At a party given that very same night She walked into the banquet, trembling with fright. Although shocked to see her, the King did beckon “I’ll see her, I’ll see her…It’s fine, I reckon.” “Dear husband.” she said, “I’ve gotten some news So horribly horrible that I did choose To come un-summoned to be by your side You must listen to me - After all, I’m your bride!!” Risking her life Esther told him the story Of Haman’s dastardly plan—Evil and Hoary Esther, still trembling explained to her mate: “My lord, at the risk of sealing my fate I must tell you something that to you may be news… Someone is planning to kill all the Jews!” “This includes Mordechai, And all of his kin And in this category, you must put ME in. For you see, I am Jewish, but so loyal to you Please don’t hurt my people…Please don’t hurt the Jews. I fear my dear husband, unless you act with your heart I, too, will die on the 13th of Adar.” Thinking the thoughts a king would sure think (That his loyal wife deserveth a mink) He called for his henchman…His Number Two To question again—what should he do In order to save his wife and her kin Haman of course, slunk right in. “Esther, dear Esther, tell Haman your fear Don’t be afraid—Tell him my dear.” “Okay, here goes nothing,” said Esther inside. She looked straight at Haman, and summoned her pride “You wicked wicked man…How dare you pretend That you are loyal to my king to the end? You who did plot to destroy all the Jews Also will kill ME Whom the king did choose! For I too am Jewish, you hateful old coot!” “Turn around,” said the king…”I give you the boot! I sentence you now to the gallows you built Not a single drop of Jewish blood shall be spilt! Pack up your belongings but don’t go far On the gallows you’ll be swinging on the 13th of Adar!!!” The moral of the story, Yeladim, you now know Is to honor G-D and all people wherever you go. To stand up and speak out for all that is right And to you Chag Sameach…Laila Tov, and good night.