Israeli Purim 2003
by Benjie Hershkowitz

Here are the gramin written for Purim that some of you asked for.

A note of warning: These are best appreciated after downing 
a shot or 2...

The Kinneret is filling up B"H just fine
We finally can stop lowering the official red line
So much rain is a blessing they say
But to fix all the "ritevut" we have to pay

Arafat's solution for being so sinister
Is to appoint a puppet Prime Minister
If he really intends to show us nothing's up his sleeve
He should do us a favor and up and leave

Shas got a surprise in the past election
They were handed an outright rejection
But one thing Shas can help with and not fail
Is filing in the daily minyan in jail

We have nothing against the French per se
They gave us great artists like Gaugain and Monet
We think we know what'll get them to fight today
Just a little terror attack on the Champs Elease


The snow came down, it looked real nice
But with the politicians in charge, we knew we'd pay the price
When we think about it, it's really a pity
That just 8" of snow can cripple an entire city

The Shinui party led by Lapid, Tommy
Wants all the charaidim to serve in the army
We would perhaps take Lapid more seriously
If he didn't so closely resemble Bunker, Archie


Paris is called the City of Light
But against terror they're unwilling to fight
We think it's clear if you look at it from their point of view
Cause beating Iraq would help the Jews

The EU money is meant for Palestinian expansion
Instead the cash ends up building each minister a mansion
They claim the money is to improve the Palestinians lives, day-to-day
But how gold-platted toilets do that, we just can't say

Yossi Bellin's a Chaver Knesset no more
The Labor party showed him the door
Here's our advice to you Bellin -- and we'll try to be kind
Yossi, you ought'a quit while you're behind

The big news today is the imminent war
But if there's one thing we really deplore
It's not the danger that leaves our mouths agape
But it's the sudden high prices for a roll of farstunkaner tape

"Dubya" (W) thinks giving Arafat a state, will stop the terror
But we think this logic is entirely in error
Bush claims to be Israel's friend, always beside her
So why doesn't he give a 51st state to the El Quaida?

On the Forbes list of billionaires is Yasir and Suah his wife
Though neither have done an honest days work in their life
Suah's spending the money in Switzerland getting a face lift, tummy
     tuck, hair bleached, legs sheared, nose job, and to make
     her look pretty -- all kinds of stuff
Well, we think that even a billion bucks is not enough!

Have you tried the new tunnel to Har HaZofim?
It has less traffic and is very "naim"
It's true as they promised there are fewer "pkakim"
Cause yer lost in A-Tur since there's no "shlatim"

If there's one thing we can learn from Haman
Is to put our trust in Hashem and not just anyone
We're sure that after the war clouds blow clear
It'll be the start of a good year