Pesach and Use of the Web

From Der Internetter Rebbe

Recently, it has come to my attention that the Jewish 
community may, chas veshalom, be making numerous violations 
of chometz and other prohibitions via their use of the 
internet both before and during Pesach. The following, 
therefore, is a compilation of some of the more important 
laws compiled from the Great Sefer Reshet Keshet, a sefer 
dealing specifically with the proper use of the internet in 
Jewish law, written by mor Harav URieL Halevi Spam.

URLs
--------
Access to all web sites consist of URLs. According to the Zohar, 
the letters URL are an abbreviation for the word UnReLiable. 
Since we do not know the true source or creator of a given 
web site, we cannot be sure of the Kosher status of any web 
site we go to unless we know that it has a reliable Kosher 
hechsher. As a matter of fact, we can verify with full certainty 
that any site ending in .com is certainly prohibited. The reason
is that .com is pronounced dot com which sounds much like the 
Hebrew dat kam meaning the religious stand up. This, in itself, 
is a contradiction of true Torah values, for only the Torah 
itself dictates the establishment of one's religious observance 
and how religious he is, not the downloading of a home web page. 
Therefore, because there may, chas veshalom, potentially be a
confusion that the Hebrew term dat kam may be confused with .com, 
one is best if he avoids use of the internet altogether, 
especially during Passover, and between Passover and Shavuot 
which marks the period when we established our faith as a nation.

TCP / IP
----------
This abbreviation is also misunderstood. It is shameful that 
so many Jews assume that when they use the internet, they use 
the TCP / IP protocol without understanding its ramifications.
TCP / IP stands for: The Chometz Before Pesach / It's Pesach. 
Notice the slash used to separate these two terms. This was 
done intentionally to mark the distinction between use of the 
internet before Pesach which is clearly chometzdik and the 
complete abolution of internet use during Pesach itself.
Only one who is absolutely machmir and shomer mitzvot will 
take heed and understand this prohibition. If one MUST use 
the internet, he must find a different method other than TCP / IP.

Cookies
---------
Nearly every web site places cookies into your computer. 
Cookies are chametz mamash, and they must be thoroughly cleaned 
out of your computers in your home and at work prior to the 
sixth hour of Erev Pesach. If they are not eliminated, one's 
computer remains chametz throughout Pesach, and one is
prohibited from using his computer ever again even after 
Pesach, as your computer would be classified as chametz 
she'Tavar alav Hapesach. Obviously, one would probably not 
want to eliminate all his cookies, since this would make most 
web sites unusable. Therefore, one should be extremely careful 
to sell his computers and laptops to a goy. Since the goy owns 
the computer during Pesach, one must be certain that the goy 
has free unlimited access to all accounts on his computer 
throughout Pesach. This includes releasing to the goy all 
passwords to both the computer itself as well as all log-in 
passwords to any network and internet accounts one has.
Without doing this, the sale would be improper.
Of particular importance, one should be careful to include 
release of all passwords to any online credit and bank accounts 
one has, as all such secured bank accounts place cookies into 
your computer. In short, the goy must have unimpeded free 
access to all cookies existing in your computer, lest, chas veshalom, 
the sale be invalidated. The goy may also choose to keep the 
computer after Pesach with all the cookies that may be present. 
If he chooses to do so, he must reimburse you for the cost of 
the cookies, but is not required to reimburse his use on your 
AOL account to access such cookies.

Summary
-----------
The above is a mere compilation of about 100 different laws. 
I recommend purchasing this sefer at your local bookstore. 
I would offer it on-line, but that would be contradictory to 
the whole point I'm making here, wouldn't it?
I hope that every internet user will take heed and be extremely 
careful with the internet both before and after Pesach. As a 
matter of fact, if you are reading this now, you're already 
in trouble, because you have one more cookie to clean up.

Shalom from,
Der Interneter rebbe

--
Eliyahu Rooff
www.geocities.com/Area51/Underworld/8096/HomePage.htm