A man is on his way home from work one afternoon in LA and he's
stopped in traffic and thinks, "wow, this traffic seems worse than
usual, we're not even moving."

He notices a police officer walking down the highway in between the
cars and he rolls down his window and says, "Excuse me officer,
what's the hold up."

"O.J. just found out the verdict, he's all depressed.  He's lying
down in the middle of the highway and he's threatening to douse
himself in gasoline and light himself on fire.  He just doesn't have
$8.5 million dollars for the Goldmans.  I'm walking around taking up
a collection for him."

The man says,"oh really, how much have you got so far."

"So far....ten gallons."

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The OJ Trial as Told by Dr.Seuss

I did not kill my lovely wife.
I did not slash her with a knife.
I did not bonk her on the head.
I did not know that she was dead.

I stayed at home that fateful night.
I took a limo, then a flight.
The bag I had was just for me.
My bag, my bag! Hey, leave it be!

When I came home, I had a gash.
My hand was cut from broken glass.
I cut my hand on broken blass.
A broken glass did cause that gash.

My friend, he took me for a ride.
All through L.A., from side to side.
>From north to south, we took that ride.
But from the cops, we could not hide.

My trial lasted for a year.
A year, a year! Just sitting here!
The DNA, the HEM, the HAW!
A circus type, the viewers saw!

Did you do this awful crime?
Did you do this anytime?
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not, anytime.

Did you take this person's life?
Did you do it with a knife?
I did not do it with a knife.
I did not, could not, kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not, anytime.

Did you hit her from above?
Did you drop this bloody glove?
I did not hit her from above.
I cannot even wear that glove.
I did not do it with knife.
I did not, could not, kill my wife.
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, would not, anytime.

The glove you see, it doesn't fit.
The lawyer says I must acquit.
Acquit because the cops all lied.
"Acquit, acquit!" The lawyer cried.

The jury came, verdict in hand.
And silence fell across the land.
"Not guilty, not guilty!" They did decree.
"Not guilty, not guilty! Not set him free!"

And now I'm free, I can return.
To my home, for which I yearn.
And to my family, whom I love.
Now would you please return my glove?!