Pizza Hut Order under the Homeland Security Act

Is this the future?...


Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. 
May I have your national ID number?"

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, 
eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live 
at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. 
Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and 
your cell number's 266-2566. 
Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your 
All-Meat Special pizzas."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got 
very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. 
Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an 
unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. 
I'm sure you'll like it."

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something 
like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean 
Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. 
That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. 
Give me two family-sized ones, then."

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, 
your wife and your four kids, sir.
Your total is $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll 
have to pay in cash. 
Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some 
cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. 
Your checking account's overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. 
I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. 
It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. 
If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up 
while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas 
on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, 
so your car got repo'ed. But you're Harley's paid up.

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. 
You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause 
prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics."