Jewish Haiku

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After the warm rain
the sweet smell of camellias.
Did you wipe your feet?

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Her lips near my ear,
Aunt Sadie whispers the name
of her friend's disease.

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Today I am a man.
Tomorrow I will return
to the seventh grade.

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Testing the warm milk
on her wrist, she sighs softly.
But her son is forty.

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The sparkling blue sea
reminds me to wait an hour
after my sandwich.

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Lacking fins or tail
the gefilte fish swims with
great difficulty.

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Like a bonsai tree,
your terrible posture
at my dinner table.

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Beyond Valium,
the peace of knowing one's child
is an internist.

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Jews on safari --
map, compass, elephant gun,
hard sucking candies.

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The same kimono
the top geishas are wearing:
I got it at Loehmann's.

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The shivah visit:
So sorry about your loss.
Now back to my problems.

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Mom, please! There is no
need to put that dinner roll
in your pocketbook.

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Sorry I'm not home
to take your call. At the tone
please state your bad news.

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Is one Nobel Prize
so much to ask from a child
after all I've done?

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Today, mild shvitzing.
Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz.
Five-day forecast: feh

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Passover
left the door open
for the Prophet Elijah.
Now our cat is gone.

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Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt.
Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Meshuganah
Oy! To be fluent!

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Quietly murmured
at Saturday services,
Yanks 5, Red Sox 3.

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Hard to tell under the lights.
White Yarmulke or
male-pattern baldness.

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A lovely nose ring,
excuse me while I put my
head in the oven.

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