THE JOYS OF WOMANHOOD (Author Unknown) *One of Life's mysteries is how a 2 lb. box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs. *Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them. *My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely. *The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes. *The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does. *The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. *Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today. *Sometimes I think I understand everything; then I regain consciousness. *I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire. *Amazing! You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes. *Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I just forget to eat". Now, I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. *A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care. *The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him. *I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff. *I read an article that said the typical symptoms of stres are eating too much, impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they kidding?! That's my idea of a perfect day! (reprinted from The Jerusalem Post "Healthy Living" special advertising supplement of 31 August 2001)