Costumes that don't fit By Berel Wein (March 24) Truth in advertising alone should force a clear disclosure of the consequences of these Reform and Conservative marriage ceremonies. Since the spirit (perhaps even the spirits) of Purim are still within us, it's not too late to discuss the custom of Purim costumes. Costumes tell us a great deal about a person, many times revealing not only who the person really is, but who the person would like to be. In fact, all of us wear costumes, not only on Purim, but all year round. We all want to be kings and queens, heroes and heroines, rewarded and admired and appreciated by all. To achieve these exalted states, we put on costumes and disguises - many times without realizing how ridiculous we look when these assumed identities don't really fit. Most of the political parties in the country wear the costume of self-righteousness and public interest. Yet the reality is often very different. Every party seems to represent its own narrow constituency, and the rest of society be damned. Is there truly no one who looks at the national interest as a whole? Is there no one who wishes to conciliate and not infuriate? The extreme secular Left cannot assume the costume of democracy and free speech if it treats every remark against it or its leaders, temperate or intemperate, as worthy of criminal investigation. How many blasphemous and hateful things have they said publicly about the religious? Come on guys, we're all big boys and girls here. Stop hating and provoking, demeaning and insulting what a substantial segment of Israeli society reveres and treasures. Smile once in a while. Grow up and stop all this nonsense. And why do some revered religious leaders have to speak about other Jews in consistently negative tones? Does the use of hateful pejorative terms about other Jews serve to advance the cause of Torah? The costume of Torah leadership and scholarship is a delicate one. It frays easily. The rabbis of the Talmud taught us that this costume must be immaculate, without patches or dirt. We in the Orthodox camp have been bashed for so long, in most cases unjustly, by our "democratic" opponents, that we have picked up many of our attackers' bad habits. We have also learned how to retaliate in kind, to spew vitriolic hatred in the name of a holy cause. We are wearing the wrong costume. It does not really fit us or represent us. It should be discarded in favor of the true rabbinical and scholarly costume of the Torah's "ways of pleasantness." THERE is a major costume party taking place the past several weeks in Israel, both on the radio and in the newspapers. The Conservative and Reform movements have mounted a media blitz to encourage people to get married through their movements. In their ads, they have wrapped themselves in the costume and mantle of "Halacha." They advertise their wedding ceremonies as "egalitarian and modern," yet in accordance with Jewish tradition. The couple can compose their own ketuba to meet what they feel are their needs. The ads mock the Orthodox rabbinate and the concept of taharat hamishpacha - family purity - which has been the basis of Jewish family life for millennia. Well, maybe they are entitled to do all this. No one will open a file against them for incitement, since they are"progressive" and oppose the Orthodox. "Pluralism" seems to be a one-way street, running left. But let's not lose sight of the costume. The ads have the gall to say that these weddings are "k'dat Moshe Veyisrael" - according to the religious tradition of Moses and Israel! Do these new-fangled, innovative, cutting-edge, with-it wedding ceremonies bear any resemblance to the wedding ceremony of the Jewish people, as hallowed by tradition for thousands of years? The service may be egalitarian, modern and everything else they claim it to be. The ceremony may delight the senses of the brave young hearts involved in it and the avant-garde clergy performing it. But it is not in accordance with Halacha, or "k'dat Moshe Veyisrael." The costume of Halacha does not fit those who regularly proclaim, and act as if, they are not bound by any strictures of the written and oral Torah. Truth in advertising alone should force a clear disclosure of the consequences of such marriage ceremonies. How will it affect the children and grandchildren of such marriages in the future when those generations will, Heaven forfend , wish to marry truly in accordance with Halacha and k'dat Moshe Veyisrael? What costume will those future generations be forced to wear because their parents and grandparents were duped by an ad campaign? And where is the vaunted concern for Jewish unity? Inserting a terribly divisive and deceptive tear into the Jewish fabric of unity - into the sanctity of Jewish marriage and the Jewish home - is a low and unnecessary blow. Well, Purim is over. Let us look take off the costumes and face the realities. Otherwise, we will be guilty of another cardinal Purim sin - "Drunk all year, and sober on Purim."