Don't be in awe of the Days of Awe Prayer services for the High Holidays are being organized in community centers, providing secular Jews who are intimidated by synagogues with a way to celebrate in a setting and among people they feel comfortable with. By Yair Sheleg Ha'aretz - October 5, 200 Amir Irron, from Shoham, comes from a very secular home. His father did not go to the synagogue even on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. His wife also grew up in a very secular home in Kibbutz Hokuk. Last year, Irron went, "for the first time in 20 years," to a prayer service on Yom Kippur. The service, held in the cultural hall of the community center in Shoham, was geared toward secular Jews like himself. The service was no different from the traditional prayers held in Orthodox synagogues and included all the holiday prayers with men and women seated separately. The rabbi of Shoham, David Stav, led the prayers, but Irron said he felt at home at the service because he was among other secular people like himself. "As soon as I heard about the idea, I decided to participate. I was keen to meet people like myself halfway and to hold the prayer service in a neutral location, where I too can feel at home. I was not disappointed. I found the service very moving." The prayer service in Shoham was part of a project initiated by an organization of rabbis known as "Tzohar," a group of religious-Zionist rabbis who seek to present Orthodox Judaism in a more tolerant and welcoming fashion. The Tzohar rabbis specialize in conducting wedding ceremonies for secular couples, which they do free of charge, meeting with the couples numerous times before the wedding ceremony. Last year they initiated the "Praying Together" program, the purpose of which was to conduct Yom Kippur services in more welcoming fashion in a "neutral" location, mostly in local community center halls. Last year, such services were held in 13 locations throughout the country, mainly in secular areas. Rabbi Shai Peron, one of the heads of Tzohar, who is in charge of the project, says that the demand went beyond all expectations. "Without any advance electronic advertising - we only handed out flyers in mailboxes and hung a few posters in the streets - we had about 2,000 people. In some places, the halls were filled to overflowing with over 300 worshipers each. This year, we have expanded the program to 22 locations. "We reached the conclusion that there are a lot of people who want to take part in the traditional Jewish prayer, but don't feel comfortable in the synagogue," explains Peron. "It is a community where everyone knows everyone else, and they are unfamiliar with the prayer service. That is why we decided to organize the services in places other than synagogues. The worshipers are given a prayer book in which the prayer services are clearly divided up into the various parts, from which page to which page. There are also interpretations and commentaries on the main concepts of the various prayer parts. The organizer of the service stops the prayer every now and then to explain the main ideas. We also try to use the melodies in the prayers that people are most familiar with." Unlike the Irron family in Shoham, the family of Nurit Geva used to make a habit of going to the local neighborhood synagogue on Yom Kippur, but Geva says she never really felt she like she belonged to any synagogue. "In the regular synagogue, you have to find someone to show you the place and explain the words to you, and you also try not to let on that you really don't know your way around. Here, from the first moment, I felt at home." Geva says that none of her friends or acquaintances was surprised nor mocked her for going to the synagogue. "On the contrary, those who heard about it after the holiday were angry at me for not telling them about it ahead of time. This year, everyone is waiting for it and it is clear that we will all meet at the services on Yom Kippur." For Yaakov Border of the Ramon Sapir neighborhood in Haifa, the prayer service was such a significant experience that he hopes to hold prayers every Shabbat. "I was among those who started it because this is a relatively new neighborhood in which there is no synagogue yet. There was a pleasant atmosphere of people who are not embarrassed to ask questions, because everyone is in the same boat. On Rosh Hashanah this year, we again had a lot of people." These stories appear to indicate that the alienation felt by many secular people in the synagogue may not necessarily be the result of the conflict between the religious and secular elements of society, but is rather a more prosaic alienation: the discomfort one feels at being in a strange place where one is unfamiliar with the customs. However, some of the worshipers found it difficult to deal with the Orthodox character of the prayer, especially the separation between men and women. Says Irron, "The experience in the men's section was marvelous. But in the women's section, there was a lot of noise because that's where all the children congregated. Also, the women were seated relatively far away from the cantor and all the action. My wife and daughter are pressuring me to attend the Reform service in Shoham, but I prefer the traditional style of the prayers." Geva and Border, on the other hand, had no problem at all with the Orthodox prayer service. Geva says that she has no problem with the separate seating arrangements either. "My feminism doesn't have to express itself in sitting together with the men. The women's section in our service was right next to the men's and we heard everything very well. I felt a full partner, and it didn't bother me at all that only men were cantors and read in the Torah. Other families felt the same as I did. The fact is that some families who attended the service in the Reform synagogue last year are planning to come to ours this year." Border said that the people who come to the prayer services he organized "want a traditional prayer service. Many of us are older and what we want is specifically to pray the way our fathers and grandfathers did." Rabbi Stav says that he is aware of the problem created by separate seating. "Despite that, we will not change the fact of the separation between men and women because we do not want to clearly violate Jewish law. What we will do this year is make sure that the men's and women's sections are right next to each other and have the cantor stand closer to the women's section." Stav, one of the most prominent figures in Tzohar, notes that there are dilemmas for the religious people involved in organizing these prayer services, certainly for a community rabbi such as himself. "First of all, there is the fear of undermining the position of the traditional synagogue by choosing a cultural hall instead of it. There is also the problem of taking a few central people from the synagogue, not only the rabbi, who come to assist me, and that could adversely affect the prayers in the synagogue too. Besides, I, as rabbi of the community, put my entire Yom Kippur into these prayers, and in a way I feel it may not be fair to the religious community I serve. On the other hand, the experience of praying in a service like this is so special that I have to turn away some of the religious worshipers who want to participate too." The Israel Association of Community Centers in conjunction with the Ministry of Social and Diaspora Affairs is following in the footsteps of Tzohar and this year will also hold "Prayer Gatherings" on Yom Kippur for secular Jews in the local community centers. The traditional prayer services will include explanations and talks. The Israel Association of Community Centers believes that the principal target audience for these services will be new immigrants.